<TITLE>30. Par 95-96</TITLE>L-95 When she turned her back I slipped around anyhow and went down into the basement, the isolated place, a very cheap like hospital. And there, down there they had a little cheesecloth laying over her face to keep the flies off. And her little spasms she was having with that meningitis had...?... And the flies was in her little baby eyes, and I shooed the flies off of her eyes like that, and looked down at her, said, "Sharon Rose, honey, you're not going to leave daddy are you?" And I looked at her little old fat legs, her little cripple hand, like this...?... on like that as she was drawing, quivering. And she was looking at me, little old lips quivering, I said, "Sharon, are you going to leave daddy?"
And looked like she was--she was quivering so like that, and I had... She looked up at me; she was suffering so hard till one of those little baby eyes... Her little eyes was crossed like that. Looked at her suffering so, and she was, looked like she was trying to reach her little hands to me. Oh, it just tore my heart out of me. Oh, and I thought, "Oh, God." From that day... That's the reason, cross-eyed children, oh, I just can't stand to look at them. You know, God does those things; sometimes He has to crush something to get the good out of it, isn't that right?

L-96 I seen that little thing; I knelt down on the floor, and I said, "Oh, dear God, I'm sorry that I did what I did." I said, "You took my wife, my darling away from me, now You're taking my baby. Oh God, please don't take my little girl; I love her with all my heart." I said, "I'll serve You; I've done all I know to do except go when You told me to down there." And I said, "Please don't take my baby." I said, "I love her. Oh, no, please tell me God." I said, "Take me instead of her."
As I raised my eyes, looked like a black sheet coming unfolded. I knowed she was going then. I raised up and looked at her; I said, "God bless you, honey." I said, "You're daddy's darling." I laid my hand over on her head, and I said, "Oh, God," I said, "I don't know why You're tearing me up like this." But I said, Still that doesn't change my faith in You." And I said, "As Job of old, though You slay me, yet I believe You with all my heart." I said, "I trust You, Lord." I said, "Sharon Rose...?... God be with you, honey. In a few minutes the Angels will come pack your little soul to Mother. And I'll pick you up from here and lay you in Mother's arms and bury you tomorrow." I said, "Lord, I've done all I can; it's not my will now, let Thy will be done."
I laid my hand on her little head like that; I couldn't hold myself no more. I felt myself slinking and went down to the floor. The Angels of God come picked her, and took her little soul away. Her little mouth quit quivering, and her little legs straightened out. God taken her away, and I stood there, my heart mashed to pieces. But I thought, "O God, oh, mercy," I said, "Lord, why don't You just take me, Lord. Just--just let me..." I said, "When I was a kid everybody laughed at me, called me sissy, and I went hungry, and went without and everything else," I said, "here it comes out to a place You give me a little home, and I tried to live right. Then You give me a little home; don't take it away from me. God, let me go with them." I said, "Don't let me stay here any longer; I don't want to stay."
I cried and...?... I said, "But God, in my heart there's something, that I love You, no matter what You've done, I love You." I lift my hands to Him.


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